I'm very shy and very coy and don't go out with women
I either go out fishing or sometimes I go swimming
Me mates gave me a book it's called the code of love
They said remember this you'll find the road to love

Number one, you find someone
Two, you hold her hand
Three, you kiss her on the cheek
Number four, you squeeze her
Number five, you tease her
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
Too late to say when

So with the code of love in mind I went off to a dance
I was all excited 'cos I thought now's me chance
I fumbled for me book just to snatch a crafty look
But it wasn't in my pocket, I forgot it

Number one, you find someone
Two, you hold her hand
Three, you kiss her on the cheek
Number four, you squeeze her
Number five, you tease her
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
Too late to say when

The next time I went out the book had pages missing
Everything keeps going wrong I wish I'd stuck to fishing

I found myself a girlfriend and we went out for a walk
I said me corns were hurting so could we sit and talk
Well you know what grass is I slipped and smashed me glasses
So I never got to look inside me book

Number one, you find someone
Two, you hold her hand
Three, you kiss her on the cheek
Number four, you squeeze her
Number five, you tease her
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
It's too late to say when
